Blog You, Too (an intro)

I have decided to start fresh. If you want to read my old blog, it is still located HERE. It has some wonderful entries about Sherlock Holmes and Zooey Deschanel, along with various other tidbits and sweetmeats. And I actually still update it from time to time.

Just a few words about myself before we begin: My name is Ted and I live in Bland, Virginia, on a large, sprawling farm with seven foster sisters and three foster brothers. Our house was built by the Amish and our father is the town doctor. We like to pick up Appalachian Trail hikers and barbecue for them.

One day, we drove up in the family van with eight thru-hikers, as my sisters ran alongside the car in their sundresses and all you could see for miles were the rolling hills and the distant line of trees.

But I prefer to be called Jack. I run a small youth hostel in San Francisco. Down the street from a small Chinese restaurant with spicy Sesame Chicken and an old woman who remembers you and smiles when you come by twice in a week. I give phony tickets to couples who aren't holding hands along the Embarcadero.

My parents named me Jonah - pronounced with a "Y" - and I work at a Jewish day camp, where I lie to the children about producing Pearl Jam albums and being a video game designer, working late nights on Sonic the Hedgehog Part 14, which, of course, is in 3-D. I like to peg weaker campers with the kickball, slip paint chips into their burgers at cookouts and tell them horrifying stories that make them wet their beds on overnights.

Then again, I might be Aimee, the first girl you ever kissed, and when you heard that Cher song afterwards, you actually found some meaning in it.

I guess I'm all these people.